Excessive empathy may be the loss of the distance that allows objectivity to understand the other, but in a certain current ideology it becomes, in a very unhealthy way, a kind of moral obligation that obliges, even worse, individuals to join the generalized victimization (and at the same time the designation of phantasmal executioners) in a lamentable lament that helps no one.
The excessive empathy makes us forget ourselves, to be empathic is a base which allows to feel what the other can feel but when we are in the excess there are no more two subjects, only the emotions of the other are perceived and we ”do not exist any more” through oneself but the other only.
Just say it. It is to think of the others to their well being, before thinking of ourselves. Why? Mystery.
When you feel what the other person feels without understanding that it is not you
or when you pass their suffering through your own filters, believing that the other person feels the same as you.
In both cases, this is a loss of boundaries, with a possible distortion of the perception of reality.
“Empathy is reaching out to the person in the hole. It’s not jumping in to help him get back up.” Agnès Ledig.
We often call a person with above-average empathy an “empath”. Empaths are hypersensitive to
to the energy and emotions of the people around them. They sense the desires, thoughts, or states of mind of others.
Empaths know when someone is lying. They don’t know how they know, but they know instantly and intuitively. They know who to trust and who to never rely on.
Both a blessing and a curse, this gift requires empaths to learn to protect themselves, as they often lose energy feeling the pain of broken people in desperate need of healing. They tend to attract toxic people to them and suffer from emotional dependence.
Beth Thomas and her brother Jonathan were adopted in the 1980s. Their biological mother had died when Beth was just over a year and a half old, and child protective services found her and her brother alone in their crib next to a bottle of curdled milk.
The adoptive parents immediately noticed a strange and violent behavior in the little girl… Small acts always more shocking than the others, like killing baby birds with her bare hands or stabbing the family dog. When they asked her questions, she would always lie.
Finally, they took her to a therapist and it became clear that she had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). It was discovered that, while her mother had been neglectful, her father had sexually abused her at the age of 1. She explained perfectly how: “Daddy hurt me with his penis”.
All of this abuse had left her with no empathy. During therapy, Beth finally stopped lying and even began to disclose her intentions. For example, when her parents found a knife in her room, and her therapist asked her what she was going to do with it, she simply replied, “Kill John, Mom and Dad.
If you watch the documentary, you can hear a 6-year-old girl coldly declare her intention to kill everyone. The cold rage in the voice of someone so young is frightening: Her parents ended up having to lock her in her room at night for everyone’s safety.
And then they finally took her to a center that specializes in treating children with ARD. You can see her in the documentary feeding goats and caring for animals.
The documentary ends with Beth crying after she tried to hurt her classmate. This was probably the first time in her life that she felt remorse!
Through treatment and therapy, she finally learned empathy: she began showing affection for others in her new home, after which she enrolled in high school and befriended her new classmates.
Today, Beth works as a nurse: she helps children with attachment disorders (ADR) and has even written her own book on the subject!
I recommend watching her documentary: “Child of Rage” but be aware that it is not for the faint of heart. You will hear a six year old girl talk about her sexual abuse. You will hear her rage and her intention to kill her family and her brother. It’s hard to watch. However, it is a very deep look at child psychology and what abuse can do to a person.